Company Picnic

[This scene is in response to Writing Challenge: First Day of the Dinosaurs. If you can make any sense out of it, well, you’re better than me, and I wrote it! I hope you enjoy it!]

“Hey guys! Looks like lunch is here!”

“Great! I can hardly wait!”

“Me too! I wonder what’s on the menu today?”

“I don’t really care. I just hope it’s enough!”

“Yeah, I hear ya. Remember our last company picnic?”

“That was a disaster! Rachel said the caterer messed up the order, the caterer said Rache only ordered for two hundred instead of two thousand, and everybody went hungry.”

“Terrible mess, that was.”

“Everybody! Get in line! There’s plenty for all!”

“Yeah, well I just hope she remembered the dietary restrictions. Some of us are vegetarians, you know.”

“Who cares about you lettuce lovers? You can go graze on the softball fields, for all I care. I need meat!”

“I’m a meatatarian, and proud of it!”

“Mmm, mmm, tasty!”

“Everybody! Split up! Green Team, go over there! Yellow Horde, over on the left! Red Menace is on the far right! Blue States are in the northeast! The rest of you just wait your turn!”

“They gave him a whistle and now he thinks he’s a boss.”

“So true. Let’s follow Julian through this crowd. He made a map!”

“I thought Julian was stuck in a writing funk?”

“It clearly hasn’t extended to his map-making. Wave free food in front of him and suddenly he’s productive!”

“I’ll bet it tastes just like chicken.”

“That’s Penny for ya, goin’ on and on about her hand fed free range organic chickens.”

“It’s so tasty, until she over-cooks it. Dries it out so it’s hard as rock and just as tasty. You gotta use one of them fancy hammers just to get the meat off the bones!”

“It’s the other white meat.”

“I’m gonna get me some of that thigh meat.”

“Not me! I’m aiming for some flank steak.”

“Think there’ll be any tenderloin left by the time I get there?”

“Why is it that sweet meats are candy, but sweet breads, which aren’t sweet, are meat?”

“Where do you come up with such weird questions, Kurt?”

“It’s a rare talent!”

“Let’s hope it stays that way!”

“Think they’ll be upset if I take home a doggie bag?”

“Naw, consider it your Christmas bonus, Emily!”


About Kurt Schweitzer

A former vampire logistics facilitator, past purveyor of Italian-style transportation, and Y2K disaster preventer, I'm currently creating websites, novels and other fictions while reinventing myself. Again.
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2 Responses to Company Picnic

  1. paleololigo says:

    What’s most hysterical is that you described my cooking perfectly. That’s why I don’t cook.

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